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Journal by makoshark04


Submitted on
September 30, 2012
Submitted with


19 (who?)


Journal Entry: Sun Sep 30, 2012, 7:23 PM

What does one say?

What does one do?

A few days ago we lost a friend. A good friend to some, a best friend to others. His name wasJoseph. His name was it was Joseph, it was Joe, it was Josey, it was kitten, it was irrelevant. For the names never did really matter, as much as the wonderful person who used them.

Josey was a sweet, kind person. He was talented, friendly, and smart. He was warm and he was brave. He was a gamer, a car enthusiast, someone who each day learned a little bit more about himself, and was more than happy to share it with the world. He was there to help. To be a shoulder, to rally support, or to share his knowledge to help others.

He loved and was loved.

A few days ago we lost a friend. His life was taken. He was robbed of it, unfairly. Fate is cruel, make no mistake. For the lives it consumes. He had everything ahead of him. EVERYTHING. EVERY GOD DAMN FUCKING THING.

And some monster in a car cut that life short.

My sadness knows no bound, and my sadness is my rage. My rage is my sadness…

I received a note from Josey not 2 days before he left us. He told me of dream he had.

A dream of living with myself and Kianna (my fiancé), of snuggling together on the couch, watching tv on a Friday night. Just friends, simply spending time together.

I've never met Josey in real life. That was not my privilege. But despite the distance, we spent so many nights chatting away. Talking about one day visiting one another. Of putting our arms around one another.

I've spent so many hours wondering, dreaming, of how I would greet someone who I've gotten to know so well, but have never met. How that moment would go, how it would play out. I've dreamed of him being at my wedding, as one of my best men. I've dreamed of walking with him through my city on a warm fall afternoon, smiling and laughing.

In the end, it didn't matter what the dream was, whether it was a possible future or not. The truth is it was something that could happen in the future. I didn't have to worry about how or when, just that it could happen.

Now here I sit, with shaking hand, and tearful eyes. Knowing there is no more dreaming, no more tomorrow, no future. Only past.

We talked all the time. Sometimes through DA, sometimes through e-mail, or even sometimes in the midst of battle in Diablo 3. We talk and talked. About stories, about drawings, games, life, happiness, sorrow, today, yesterday and tomorrow. So many things we shared. Two people sharing something.

He never got to see my face. To see my smile.

Now 4,200 km away I weep for my friend. My beloved friend.  

And now after all this time, after all my talks, planning for the perfect moment, he finally appeared in my story. Finally I introduced the friend I had shared so much with. He got to see 3 pages…

He got to see Josey dance. But now he will never see how it ends. How that dance ends. Perhaps it never will.

There was so much more planned. So many more stories. So many more places for him in my world…

I lost a best friend. One who never knew my name. He was a good person. He was someone this world needed. Someone this world couldn't afford to lose. He was FANTASTIC. He was so much.

I had a dream Josey…

A dream that you were taken from me, taken from this world.

But that is my waking nightmare now.

I love you, I will always love you.

And each day I will live for you, and always keep you in my head and in my heart.

I know you will never respond to this... but I know you can read it…

We will meet again.

I promise.


Love Lord Dragon Master

  • Listening to: The worm and the bird
  • Playing: Starcraft 2
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Rawdawg-132 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There are no words that I can say that can possibly mend your pain for I am a meer stranger. All I can say is that this world has trully lost a great person. I have not met Josey, I didn't speak with him, or so much as known of his existance until this journal entry. However I can tell that through the pure emotion that spilled out of those words have told me what a great person Josey really was. This should not have happened. Its not right.

You have lost a great friend and I grieve to know that such man has left us. I know that my grief may not be enough, and I know that saying "Im sorry for your loss" will do trully nothing to ease that rage and sorrow. However I am trully sorry for your loss. I sometimes wonder how sadistic the creator is.
Shadowdragon1997 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss I know how much it hurts to lose someone you care about someone one you love and thought the pain never does fully go away at least every day you wake you know that he's in a better place and no it's not the end because one day you will see him again in your heart you know it you will see him again wether in your dreams or when it is finally your time your will always see your loved ones again good luck and peace be with you LDM
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
apollophoenix Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Just reading this made me cry. So very sorry for your loss LDM, he sounded like a lovely fella :( x
Pvt-Hudson Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
In the last comic i can see how much he really meant to you :(
jfawks Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012
I'm sorry for your loss. You have my condolences and my thoughts are with you. I'm also sorry that almost anonymous thoughts and words are all I have to offer but that is all I have to give.
naviman Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'am very sorry for your loss... maybe I should say our loss, because Josey wasn't only a friend for the ones who knew and talked with, but he was a great part of this comunity, not only with his art but with his comments and even his presence in da.
maybe I'm just another bystander of his actions in da, but what I saw was a happy person and great friend, someone this world needs.
I have lost many friends and family in the past so I know the sadness your going through, but remember that he won't leave us as long as we keep him in our memories and hearts.

Rest in peace dear friend, we will not let your ripples fade away.
RVB476 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My [late] condolences for your loss. I wish I could say more, but I have nothing more to say.
darkar117 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
I know that is late to say this but im sorry for you i know how it feels to loose someone special so i will be here if you need someone to hear you all of us are with you
Eragonithor Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
I have a similar friend named Tyler, we talk alot, and play together often. I can't even begin to imagine not being able to meet the guy who's one of your best friends. I hope you at least got to voice chat or something. I think it'll help give a voice to what otherwise would be plain text in a chat box. My friend is Russian but sounds Indian, but a voice is a good way to judge a person. Anyway, I'll be praying for you, and Joseph.
sorrowsdream Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh gods....I did not know Josey, except thru art that I loved quite a bit and a few messages back and fourth. My heart goes out to you for your loss, and all those who were close. Blessings. I know it is never enough but it is what I can offer. I am so sorry.
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